Today I was talking to A about men in Warsaw. I was saying that they require a lot of work. Sometimes it seems that a fellow and I like each other, and it would be worth going somewhere with it, but it seems like they never do anything to make that happen. If we see each other again it's because I suggested it, or made it happen in some way. It's not that having a relationship here is impossible; it's that it requires a lot of unreciprocated extended effort (on the part of the woman, I think). This was my stance. Then A said, "Haven't You ever met someone and it is obvious that You click, and then he does something indirect (of course they never do suggest anything directly) to make it possible to meet again?" And to this I was forced to say, "No." It's like they (like A) are waiting for a bolt of lightening. It should be ORGANIC. You shouldn't have to PLAN interactions. It takes away the MAGIC.* Yadda yadda.**

Now, the first response I had to this situation was: since this happens to A, and not to me***, then it must be something about me--that is, apparently these men don't do anything to see me again not because they just don't do that sort of thing, as was my assumption, but because they lack motivation to see me, specifically.

My second response is that, wait. Most of my existing relationships in Poland function the same way! I do all the work! How many times do I suggest we meet, versus my friends suggesting we meet and organizing something? The odds must be somewhere near 15:1.

I'd list all of the factors that play into this phenomenon, and the conclusion of these thought-trains, but I'm already bored with this post. Oh well. I was asked to boost quantity recently. Quality needs suffer when mass production**** is introduced.

* I should say, this is the way it seemed to work when we were in our 20s. I'm not surprised people believe that it's possible. Well, OK, I am surprised. Life is a little more complicated now. That should pretty obviously be considered, no?

** bunch of hippies.

*** in Poland. Be it noted, this dynamic is entirely different in the US.

**** Ha. Ha ha. 1 post after 4 weeks == mass production? Ha ha!