Today I found a file on my desktop, when I was "writing my chapter". It is a(n apparently drunken) first draft of a speech I eventually gave at the WISP graduation ceremony. Don't You wish I had just said this? The entirety:

Students, Faculty, Lovers, Would-be lovers, Frenemies, Posers, Pseudo-Intellectuals,


YOU HAVE PASSED YOUR PRIME. Rent a beach house if You can.


Congratulations!