I have been collecting a list of instances to use as examples for why I can't live in this country (yoga guy not smiling for an entire 1.5 hour session; museum guard yelling at child; lifeguard not saying hello when I'm the ONLY ONE IN THE POOL ON BOXING DAY; etc) but here's one that's actually meaningful.

At the Faculty Council meeting last week M was doing a presentation on the Center for Research on Prejudice, and explaining the kinds of projects we do and what we've published and our international collaborations etc etc and eventually he mentioned that we do work on "sexism and discrimination against women". Now, having some experience with this sort of presentation, I myself would have chosen not to say "against women" -- knowing that it evokes defensive reactions from Polish crowds. But he said it, and IMMEDIATELY a woman in the Council said "Why not against men?"

There are a few things I think about this:

1. Ma'am, are You an idiot? Are You seriously suggesting that discrimination against men is an equally significant research topic? Do You have no idea of the kinds of inequalities of power that exist in the world? That clearly favour men? This is not to say that discrimination against men doesn't exist. It does. But seriously. I would say that it can reasonably be asserted that studying why 1/3 of women are victims of domestic violence in one form or another is a more socially important question than why men are distrusted as nurses. And even if this asymmetry weren't true:

2. Ma'am, are You an idiot? Are You seriously suggesting that it's OK to tell us what we should study? Do I respond to Your research reports by recommending that You expand/change Your interests? And even if You did think so, why say it out loud? Maybe:

3. Ma'am, are You an idiot? Do You seriously want to assert Yourself in front of a group of Your peers by expressing the most knee-jerk, thoughtless, unconstructive response possible? Am I free to interpret this as an unconscious acknowledgement of Your own very real low status, as an attempt to ingratiate Yourself with the group You implicitly know holds power, i.e. the men? Why the fuck else would You say that?

At the time, what I said was, "of course, and against men." Because I have nothing to prove to that particular woman, and because M immediately said, coolly, that much sociological and demographic data indicate that women are more harmed by inequalities than are men. But seriously. Should he really have point that out? Really? It still needs to be said out loud? Would she have felt so self-righteous, so assured of acceptance, saying that in a country less sexist?

This is the #1 university in the land. Educated people. Theoretically.