Forget what I said on Saturday, March 28 about forgiving negligence towards children.

Youngsters these days, it seems like they spend >50% of their time at parties taking pictures of themselves at parties. It's like the experience is less important than the documentation of the experience. And it's not like I take few photos, well, OK, it is like I take few photos. I take photos at special occasions and suchlike but not at like the weekly drinkfest (which I don't, of course, engage in, but did when I was "young" and of the age when nowadays youngsters take pictures of their everyday partying experiences). Whew!

I get really fucked off at my father + stepmother when I take the family dog for a walk. Somehow I can forgive them their negligence towards the children. The kids have siblings, they have an external support system, they can process, they can eventually create lives in some way separate from their caretakers. But the dog, his existence is a product of their negligence that cannot in any way realize that any discomfort he is feeling is not his fault, he can't come to understand and forgive, he can't seek meaning in their behavior beyond himself, he just is made to feel constantly bad. Ugh. I can't deal with it. And all their well-intentionedness, which is something of a mitigating factor when it comes to kids, is utterly moot when it comes to the dog. I can't stand it. It makes me right angry.

So, recently H wrote me a message that made me think that there are two types of people* in this world. She was saying that while clearing out her closet she discovered some items that she had had for the past 15 years and she was chucking them out, in general disbelief that she had had these things for so long. Me, I have things like that, that I've had that long, and longer, and when I use them I am _so_ _thrilled_ to have had them for so long and to not have had to acquire new ones, and I wouldn't DREAM of throwing them** out. I am replete with relief that I have these things that have turned out to be so intransient, bound to me, and durable.

There is a general principle to comment on here, but I think I'll skip writing about it for the time being.

* at least. At least two.

** You understand, it doesn't matter what the "them" is.

My great-aunt told me the other day that I have to stop focusing on being a part of other people's lives and start focusing on leading my own life. My head thinks she's right but the rest of me is sort of comfortable.

I have to admit I was a little shocked and horrified today when I read something. In the interests of maintaining another's integrity I will not give details, but it was bad.

Really, I am ridiculously sentimental.

Today's run: step-step-step-step-left-right-left-right-left-right-thought-thought-thought-thought-step-step-left-right-left-right-let-right-left-right-left-right-step-step-left-right-let-right-thought-thought-thought-thought-step-step-step-I-have-to-get-a-new-em-pee-three-player-step-step-step-step.

Or learn how to load up my iPod without iTunes.

I didn't wear my glasses to work today. Which isn't much of a problem because most of my day hasn't been about reading. But now I'm going to have to read and I think I'll go home to do it. Except that at home I'll probably read different things than I should be reading. Oh, blah blah bother. Also, I'd kind of like to go out to dinner. Too bad I didn't get to organizing anything like that before 8:10pm.

My idea is to not go in to work tomorrow. We'll see if that idea works out better than it did on Monday.

Mikolaj I can't believe You don't follow me on twitter.

So, in case You somehow missed this Key Fact about me*, I'm a good tumbler**. Today, this Key Fact was instantiated in a graceful*** acrobatic roll (elicited by an unanticipated and unobserved obstacle that only my right foot was sensitive enough to pick up out of the landscape and called to my attention). Now, so far, all this is nothing to write blog about. I trip not infrequently while running****. But today it was drizzling, and the path was muddy. My rolly tumble thus resulted in a delicate sheet of grime-cover on the entire back surface + sleeve of my sweatshirt as well as my trousers. When I got home I hung it all up and went to work. Now I'm back and it's dried into a fine crust.

If only I had just gone PLUNK. A lot less of me would have been mud-treated.


* and You might have, honestly; it is a domain-specific Key Fact in a domain that is experienced primarily solitarily

** no, I don't mean a well-behaved whiskey glass. Read on before jumping to conclusions. Dork.

*** I keep changing this to graceless and then changing it back. truth or beauty? truth or beauty?

**** at least compared to other domains, in which I trip never

It's the little things

It is somehow such a comfort to have a phone charger in my office, one that never gets unplugged (I know, I know, that's bad) and that I can plug my phone into with zero additional management or decision-making.

Speaking of things that require a blinking ton of additional effort, which then turns out to be futile, I was trying to buy Season 3 of FNL this week and iTunes told me that I had to download the new iTunes in order to do that. OK, so that happens, I forget, I twice more attempt to buy S3 of FNL before I download the new iTunes. So that happens, and then time passes, and then I remember that apart from downloading I have to actually install the new iTunes. Then the new iTunes tells me, get this, that I need at least OS 10.4.9 to install it. Which I can't do, because my computer is too ancient.

I ask You. This I ask. How is FNL supposed to gain a wider following if iTunes/OS X is allied against it. How. I am doing my best here.

Today it's the weekend, so I'm "taking it easy". This is operationalized by taking the bus from home to work to work, rather than driving.

I wish there was a good word in English for "rozczulić". "To be moved" is too serious. I want something a tiny bit patronizing, but mostly something indicating emotional endearment. Ł suggested something with tender, which made me think of tenderize, which would be funny but isn't true.

So anyway, my HH instructor rozczulił mnie this week. That is, he "made me feel tender towards him", ha. He was asking me about what other kinds of things there are at the store where I annually get him gigantic garish T-shirts (Marshall's on 125th) and I suggested that instead of having me do his shopping perhaps he should plan a trip to NYC himself, so that instead of elaborate digital-photo-boot-shopping scenarios he could just, You know, see it live. He was surprised at the (relatively) low cost (thank the crisis for low ticket prices) and then asked if I "had people" in the city. When I said yes, he seemed to interpret that as an automatic declaration of their support for him, should he go. It was sort of like a presumption that one would make about family, or really close friends. It was sort of adorable. It was like: "We're family, we take care of our own." Even though we barely know one another. It's like we're in the mob. I got connections. They'll hook You up, yeah. Plus the implicit communication that he would need help. Who suspected he'd admit to that?

Actual text of an actual sms I got today (actual size):

"Czesc. Jasienko. Jak u Ciebie? U mnie duzo sniegu! Troszke zaczyna sie topic. Ostatnie to nawet nie mam kiedy do domu nawet zadzwnic. Zalatany jestem jak diabli a praktycznie nic nie robie! Ostatnio od 3 dni nawet obiadu nie jadlem. Bo za jakimis ciuchami na fitnes latam jak glupi. Jakos padlo haslo ze wszyscy idziemy na silownie a ja nie mam w czym a jak cos jest to mi sie nie podoba. No taka paranoja ze szok. Jeszcze w sobote albo niedziele pojade na narty i wogole nie bywam w domu. A na dodatek co weekend mamy jakies urodziny albo imieniny. Katastrofa! Ale chcialbym przyjechac do polski tydzien wczesniej przed swietami. To bede mial czas i bysmy sie spotkali na sniadanie albo kawe i pogadali bysmy sobie! Trzymaj sie cieplo. Pa."

[sic]

Another upojny wieczór at Stawki 5/7!

One of my favourite things about Polish politics is how frequently one politician can be heard saying about another that he (the other) has lost touch with reality.

In the midst of some computer difficulties including frantic back-upping to my external hard drive (which, incidentally, is full. What the heck did I fill 125GBs with?) iTunes went wack and somehow consumed all of my downloaded podcasts. I'm a little upset by this because really I was keeping all those TAL episodes for re-listening. Boo. :(